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At times, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles feels he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his grandiose moments frequently escalate into “really delusional”, he admits. “You are on cloud nine and you think, ‘People will see that I’m better than them … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these times of heightened ego are often coming after a “emotional downturn”, during which he feels deeply emotional and embarrassed about his actions, rendering him especially susceptible to disapproval from others. He began to think he might have NPD after investigating his behaviors online – and eventually evaluated by a clinician. But, he is skeptical he would have agreed with the assessment without having independently formed that realization on his own. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – particularly if they experience beliefs of dominance. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve constructed. And in that mindset, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Though people have been labelled as narcissists for more than a century, definitions vary what is meant by the diagnosis. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” explains a psychology professor, noting the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he suggests many people hide it, because of widespread prejudice associated with the disorder. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “impaired compassion”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to seek admiration through actions such as seeking admiration,” the expert explains. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in NPD Presentation

Although up to 75% of people diagnosed with NPD are males, research points out this number does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that female narcissism is more often presented in the covert form, which is less commonly diagnosed. Male narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, similar to everything in society,” notes a young adult who shares content on her co-occurring conditions on social media. Frequently, the two disorders co-occur.

First-Hand Experiences

“I really struggle with handling criticism and not being accepted,” she explains, whenever it’s suggested that I am at fault, I often enter self-protection or I become unresponsive.” Although experiencing this behavior – which is often called “self-esteem damage”, she has been working to manage it and listen to guidance from her support system, as she doesn’t want to slip into the harmful behaviour of her previous life. My past relationships were toxic to my partners in my youth,” she admits. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she notes she and her current boyfriend “maintain an agreement where we’ve agreed, ‘If I say something messed up, when I use toxic language, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mostly in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of supportive figures during development. “I’ve been learning all this time the difference between acceptable versus unacceptable to say when arguing because it wasn’t modeled for me in my formative years,” she shares. Every insult was fair game when my household were criticizing me in my early years.”

Origins of NPD

These mental health issues tend to be connected with early life adversity. Genetics play a role,” says a mental health specialist. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “connected with that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to cope in formative years”, he states, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was based on meeting specific standards. They then “rely on those same mechanisms as adults”.

In common with many of the those diagnosed, one individual thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The adult shares when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve high marks and career success, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t meet their standards, he wasn’t “acceptable.

In adulthood, none of his relationships lasted. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he admits. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He didn’t think experiencing genuine affection, until he met his current partner of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, similar to his experience, struggles with feelings. She is “highly empathetic of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he explains – it was actually she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

After a visit to his GP, John was referred to a mental health professional for an assessment and was given the NPD label. He has been referred for talking therapy on the public health system (extended treatment is the only treatment that has been proven effective NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the treatment delay for an extended period: The estimate was it is likely to occur maybe February or March next year.”

John has only told a handful of people about his NPD diagnosis, because “prejudice is common that all narcissists are abusers”, but, personally, he has come to terms with it. “It helps me to understand myself better, which is beneficial,” he says. All of the people have come to terms with NPD and are seeking help for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the disorder. But the growth of individuals sharing their stories and the rise of digital groups suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number